Last year Mother’s Day fell not two weeks after we lost Nina. My world had fallen apart and yet I felt a surge of love for my friends, my family and especially my son. It’s been a year since we lost our little girl and a year and a half since we left LA and the comfort of our friends and family there. While personally and professionally I still feel unsettled and often yearn for those familiar comforts, Harlan and Aidan are my anchor, and I know that home is where they are.
Here is the email message I sent out last year to the moms in my life.
Hi beautiful mamas,
I hope you are all having a wonderful day honoring yourselves and the angels who have awarded you this most esteemed title.
What people without kids don’t realize is how courageous we are to become mothers. We are the brave, the bold…and the blessed. We made a conscious, crazy decision to embark on a journey that is at once the most gratifying and the most terrifying imaginable. It’s allowed us to reach heights of love and devotion we didn’t know was possible, but also new depths of vulnerability. I’m learning that when we hit a treacherous bend in the road, the best we can do is love the hell out of our little ones, treasure them, squeeze them tight and let them make us laugh — and swoon — the way they do so well.
It’s a tough Mother’s Day for me. I am full of mixed emotions, but foremost is overwhelming love for my little boy, the best, most beautiful thing I could ever imagine creating in this lifetime. When I look at him I know, in spite of the sadness, that I am one of the lucky ones. And I am also lucky to have such incredible friends.
I wish you a day of love and wonder.