Okay, not really a new low but another silly mom story from the annals of silly mom stories.

I cut Aidan’s fingertip off once back in the early days when I used to cut his fingernails with a clipper. Now I bite them off. He has mixed feelings about this process. He laughs nervously and at the same time pulls away. He’s pretty damn strong so it’s a battle. Then one night while reading him one of his favorite books, the literary masterpiece Touch and Feel Kitten, I came up with a brilliant idea. The second spread in the book says, “Touch my ROUGH pink tongue”* and the cute kitty’s tongue sticking out of his mouth is made out of a nail file, so I’ve actually begun filing Aidan’s nails on the ROUGH pink tongue. And boo likes it! He thinks it’s a game! He grabs my fingers and files my nails on it, too! It’s awesome. And I remembered that Pat the Bunny also has a nail file in it for “Now YOU can touch Daddy’s scratchy face” (daddy’s lambchop is a nail file). So I can file at least two of his nails per reading session.

* There’s also “Stroke my SOFT silky fur” and “Feel my HARD yellow food bowl.” You kidding me?

Kitty Porn

Kitty Porn

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